


i'm always okay as long as you're here (again, why’d you have to leave?)

by gayves



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Other, Sad, Soft and sad, cute mother daughter moments tho, im just devastated over dolls dying and alice never meeting him let me be, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 19:44:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15468660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayves/pseuds/gayves
Summary: In which little Alice is already back at the homestead, and everything is happy. Except when she starts asking a lots of questions, specially about this strange man in one of her mother's pictures.————————“Mama, who is that?”The six-year old looked up at her mothers face, her bright light blue eyes full of curiosity.Wynonna took a deep breath. It was time.“That’s... that’s your uncle. Dolls.”





	i'm always okay as long as you're here (again, why’d you have to leave?)

“Mama!“ The six year old yelled as hard as she could, running as fast as her father had taught her, or as fast as her short legs allowed. She didn’t hear a response back, so she ran faster, harder, pushing the barn door wide open with her little hands. “Mama!“

Wynonna looked up from where she was sitting in the middle of the barn, clearing her throat as a soft smile reached her face when she caught a glimpse of her little Alice.

“Baby girl, are you okay?” She asked, immediately frowning when she noticed how fast her daughter was approaching her.

“Look what I found!” The child smiled, rapidly jumping into her mother’s lap and circling her little arms around her neck safely. She reached into her pocket, the large jacket weighing uncomfortably on her shoulders (but her mama wouldn’t let her out without it) as she unfolded the piece of paper. 

Wynonna arched an eyebrow, curious to see what the little trouble maker had found. That child was always running around since the first day they had brought her to the homestead a little over three years ago, investigating every single hidden space the property had to offer, her eyes shiny and excited every time she found something new. It made Wynonna’s heart warm, it made her feel complete after those haunting years without her around.

“Look!” Alice smiled, her little fingers running over the imagine. “It’s aunty Waverly! And Nicole.” She paused, smiling a little wider. “And you and daddy and Jeremy! And...” Wynonna’s heart sank. “Mama, who is that?”

The six-year old looked up at her mothers face, her bright light blue eyes full of curiosity. 

Wynonna took a deep breath. It was time.

“That’s... that’s your uncle. Dolls.”

Alice frowned, confused.

“Dolls? But I’ve never met him, Mama.” She replied, already turning her head back to the picture to try and recognize him. 

Wynonna smiled softly, realizing she hadn’t seen that picture in years. It was taken on her 28th birthday, right after she had lost her little Alice. She had felt utterly miserable, and refused to go anywhere but the bar for months. She remembers how worried they all were, how much they cared. She remembers the night she showed up at Shorty’s, only to find they had thrown her a surprise party. For her, for them. Just for them. She remembers she refused at first, they had to chase her down. She remembers the tears, oh the many, many tears. She remembers their dinner, how she felt like it was the first time in forever she had talked to anyone. She remembers the laughter. For the first time since Alice, there was laughter. And that’s exactly when that picture was taken. Jeremy had told a terrible joke that only made Waverly laugh on her way to leave the food at the table when she tripped, ending up falling on Nicole’s lap and almost throwing her off her chair. Wynonna had been the first one to laugh, followed by everyone else just when Jeremy snapped a selfie. 

She remembers the warmth, the happiness. 

Wynonna wakes up from her trip down memory lane as soon as she feels Alice’s fingers around her waist, her daughter trying to gain her attention back. She clears her throat, fighting the tears that threatened to come out back.

“I know you haven’t, babygirl. But he... he did know you.” She paused, unable to stop herself from smiling at the confusion written all over Alice’s face. “You see, baby, Mama was a really, really close friend of Dolls. So close, I believe you would’ve made him your favorite uncle. And he... he loved you. He never got a chance to tell you himself, but he did. You know how I know?” Wynonna asked, trapping Alice’s air behind her ear. “Because he sacrificed himself for you.” 

Alice frowned, the confusion written back all over her face. “What do you mean, Mama?”

“I mean... he chose to step aside rather than keep me away from you. He chose to think about us, and not him. And what have I told you about love?”

“You do everything for the people you love and who love you back.”

“Exactly.” She smiled, her eyes swelling up with tears again. “And he loved us, he loved us and you very, very much.”

Alice nodded, finally beginning to understand some of the things her mama was trying to explain. “So... is he okay now? Will I ever meet him, mama?”

Wynonna looked down, a single tear threatening to fall but she caught it on time. “Not soon, baby. Not soon. But I do promise he’s okay, and he’ll get to tell you he loves you someday.” 

“Do you love him?” The six-year old whispered, frowning when she noticed her mama was almost crying. “Mama, are you okay?” She kneeled on her mother’s lap, her hands grabbing Wynonna’s face before she kissed her cheek, catching a tear, just like her mama did to her when she was sad. She hugged Wynonna again.

Wynonna squeezed her little girl into her arms, closing her eyes instantly. “I’m okay. I promise.” She paused, content to stay there with her daughter in her arms for a few minutes. After, she cleared her throat again. “Alice?”

“Yes mama?” She asked, pulling away to look into her mother’s eyes.

“I do.” She smiled, caressing her daughters cheek. “Love him, I mean. I do.”

“Can you tell him I love him too?”

Wynonna froze for a second, her mouth slightly open as she processed her daughter’s words. She closed it shut and nodded. “I think he will very, very happy to know that you do.”

“Alice!” A voice from outside the barn interrupted, Waverly walking in seconds later in her winter jacket over her pajamas. “Oh, there you are! I was looking all over for you. Wanna help aunty Nicole and I make breakfast?” 

“Yes!” The child smiled, quickly jumping back to the ground and running towards the house, already forgetting the emotional conversation she’d just had. Wynonna, on the other hand...

“Are you okay?” Waverly frowned, walking a few steps towards her older sister just as Wynonna closed her hand around Xavier Dolls’ tags hanging from her neck. She squeezed them tight.

“I am now.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry feel free to yell at me on my twitter though (@gayveriy) and please leave a comment telling me what you think! 
> 
>  
> 
> hope you're all coping w dolls death i sure as hell am not


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